By listening intensely, a negotiator demonstrates empathy and shows a sincere desire to better understand what the other side is experiencing. ■ Use your own name to make yourself a real person to the other side and even get your own personal discount. As the saying goes, birds of a feather flock together. ― Chris Voss, quote from Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It, “If you approach a negotiation thinking the other guy thinks like you, you are wrong. It. Going too fast is one of the mistakes all negotiators are prone to making. The goal is to uncover as much information as possible. Once you know whether they are Accommodator, Assertive, or Analyst, you’ll know the correct way to approach them. Even changing a single word when you present options—like using “not lose” instead of “keep”—can unconsciously influence the conscious choices your counterpart makes.” Use your voice. ― Nancy Farmer, quote from The House of the Scorpion, “Нет греха слишком большого для милосердия Божьего.” Error rating book. ― Chris Voss, quote from Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It “By repeating back what people say, you trigger this mirroring instinct and your counterpart will inevitably elaborate on what was just said and sustain the process of connecting.” ■ Ask calibrated “How” questions, and ask them again and again. ― Chris Voss, quote from Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It, “This happens because there are actually three kinds of “Yes”: Commitment, Confirmation, and Counterfeit.” Answering the questions will give them the illusion of control. Persuasion is not about how bright or smooth or forceful you are. It. What sets the strategies in this book apart from other negotiation theories (like those which approach negotiation as logical and sequential problems to be solved) is the injection of emotional intelligence and empathy into the negotiation process. So don’t beat them with logic or … It’s not about you.”, “The beauty of empathy is that it doesn’t demand that you agree with the other person’s ideas”, “Negotiation is not an act of battle; it’s a process of discovery. BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, typical of the Information Age but is a habit disdained by some diehard readers. In doing so, it uncovers problems before they happen. ■ Ask calibrated questions that start with the words “How” or “What.” By implicitly asking the other party for help, these questions will give your counterpart an illusion of control and will inspire them to speak at length, revealing important information. Negotiation is never a linear formula; The real problem with compromise is we don’t get what we want; Deadlines regularly make people do impulsive things because of consequences It’s about the other party convincing themselves that the solution you want is their own idea. ■ Follow the 7-38-55 Percent Rule by paying close attention to tone of voice and body language. When you’re attacked in a negotiation, pause and avoid angry emotional reactions. Top 26 Quotes from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen ... Top 30 Quotes From Start With Why by Simon Sinek, Top 40 Best Quotes from The Gift of Imperfection by Brené Brown. I love mirrors! offer you some of the highlights. Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss Summary Cheat-Sheet 2.Let the other party suggest a price first . ■ Don’t ask questions that start with “Why” unless you want your counterpart to defend a goal that serves you. Then consciously label each negative feeling and replace it with positive, compassionate, and solution-based thoughts. ― Chris Voss, quote from Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It, “This is listening as a martial art, balancing the subtle behaviors of emotional intelligence and the assertive skills of influence, to gain access to the mind of another person. The Summary Will Continue In The Next Blog Post. who share an affinity for books. Negotiation should be seen as a process of discovery. The researchers dubbed this the Pinocchio Effect because, just like Pinocchio’s nose, the number of words grew along with the lie. Each quote represents a book that is ― Chris Voss, quote from Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It, “That is, “Yes” is nothing without “How.” Asking “How,” knowing “How,” and defining “How” are all part of the effective negotiator’s arsenal. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a We fear what’s different and are drawn to what’s similar. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. Once you get the hang of it, though, it’ll become a conversational Swiss Army knife valuable in just about every professional and social setting.” ■ Don’t just pay attention to the people you’re negotiating with directly; always identify the motivations of the players “behind the table.” You can do so by asking how a deal will affect everybody else and how on board they are. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. That's not empathy, that's a projection.” He later became the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiato. ■ Set boundaries, and learn to take a punch or punch back, without anger. Humans want to be accepted and understood. “Never Split The Difference” Quotes He who has learned to disagree without being disagreeable has discovered the most valuable secret of negotiation. The key here is to relax and smile while you’re talking.” Where would you like to store the in-house copy? . When the pressure is on, you don’t rise to the occasion; you fall to your highest level of preparation. Your attitude is light and encouraging.